Mantra of the week . . .
I invite life unconditionally. š
A-ha moment . . .
In about two weeks, my family and I will be moving to a new apartment downtown. Moving in New York City is a total pain in the ass . . . moving is always a nuisance, but moving in a city like NYC where most people are dependent on public transportation ā myself included ā means weighing location with ease of access to get around.
The decision to move was made in support of my sonās soccer goals. For those that donāt know, Benjamin plays competitively at the highest level and has aspirations to play professionally. This means providing him access to the best club play available, which means getting him closer to the club of his choice, while still giving us easy access to his school and places where the dog and I can enjoy our morning commune with nature. As Benjamin and I discussed locations and what was available (which isnāt much, given that NYC is experiencing its lowest vacancy rates since the late 60ās š¤¦š»āāļø), I started to experience some push back from my son.
As I looked at suitable apartments, I kept thinking about how to align everything to everyoneās satisfaction. Was there going to be a choice that made everyone happy? Or were we going to get stuck in our current apartment, with Benjamin commuting more than an hour each way three times a week for practices? And then it happened, by the grace of Source, a leasing agent Iād bonded with while viewing a prior apartment, called in the early morning to tell me about a listing that was perfect before it went on the market. I paid a security hold before I even saw it . . . and when I did, it was the answer Iād been hoping for! šš»
But, not everything was to Benjaminās liking. As we had a conversation about all the pros and cons, I asked him what he was willing to sacrifice to make his soccer dream a reality? As he sat considering what Iād asked, I told him about my sacrifice: Central Park. Iāve spent every morning for years now enjoying the early morning with my beloved Zuri in the park. Itās the most intimate time of my day; itās when I feel closest to my higher Self. Every day starts with the deepest kind of reverence and gratitude and I canāt imagine what life is going to be like without it.
Except, I trust that this next step will bring exactly whatās needed for me now. So, is sacrifice really a sacrifice if we have no resistance to it?š” Yes, it feels like a sacrifice in the present, because my past experience tells me how much I love what I will be giving up. But maybe, just maybe, the morning walks along the river will hold their own kind of magic and the expansive step weāre taking to realize dreams, holds more than I can imagine in this present moment. š«
When Benjamin did respond, it turned out that he didnāt really feel like he was making any sacrifices, he just needed to voice his resistance to moving itself. Yes, he feels there will be some inconveniences, but Iām not the kind of parent who wants to smooth the road ahead too much, because thatās how we build some grit. š
Awakening: asked and answered . . .
QUESTION: How can you tell when an attachment is unhealthy?
This answer will be greeted with resistance, but attachments are never healthy. Any kind of attachment, even those perceived to have the best of intentions, will always be entangled with the ego. Attachments by nature require grasping, manipulation, force, and possessiveness, all of which are a product of the ego and its desire to control outcomes. To live a life free of attachments is to surrender to life unconditionally. This doesnāt mean giving away our power and giving up on expectations; it means living with a willingness to trust that there is grace at work and some aspects of life are beyond our comprehension for a reason. š¤
I know how hard this is to accept. It took me years of deep inner work to let go of all of my attachments. And as a parent, the hardest one was around my son. Without giving too much personal background, I will share that Benjamin has a difficult relationship with his father. It started when he was only 5 years old and progressed until they were nearly estranged, when he was 10. I knew exactly how Benjaminās father was hurting him, because I recognized the patterns, as I too had been on the receiving end. But because his dad didnāt want to hear it or be accountable, I was powerless to stop my son from being deeply wounded. All I could do was be a comfort and respite in their storm.
No one in my life has ever made me angry the way Benjaminās father did, because he was hurting the person I love most in the world. I would go so far as to call it rage, because I could see the patterns and how needless they were, if only his dad would confront himself and the generational patterns he was perpetuating. At the time, it didnāt help me to be a healer who specializes in confronting cycles of destruction, because I couldnāt be effective given how attached I was. This became the means to my own breakthrough . . .
I was forced to wholly confront the patterns in me that led to forming an attachment to a man who perpetrated the same unhealthy patterns I had once accepted from my own father. I remember the day I realized how little self-worth I had to have allowed a man to treat me so badly and to perpetuate cycles of destruction that would go on to cause my son to suffer too. And then I had to forgive myself.
I was forced to confront the entitled part of me that thought I had power over the choices Benjaminās soul made for his own growth this lifetime. I had to learn that Benjamin has his own dharma and will learn through trials and tribulations, the same way we all do. My role is to love him unconditionally and create sanctuary from, and clarity about, his storms. āļø
Attachments are the cause of our suffering. Itās the attachments that trip us up and slow our progress, because if outcomes donāt go according to our plans, we get tangled up in emotional knots. If we allow, and even invite, life unconditionally, weāre poised to align and move with grace even through the most challenging of circumstances.
Just for fun . . .
Iām not sure when I bought this book, if I did, but I stumbled on it in my spring purge and hadnāt read it yet. If you enjoyed the film Practical Magic or youāre a fan of stories about witches, you will enjoy this ancestral tale of magic passed through generations of powerful and endearing women.
Iāve been a David Letterman fan as long as I can remember. In recent years, heās been doing interviews on Netflix called, My Next Guest. Although Iām not always interested in the guests featured, the most recent installment is with comedian John Mulaney. Mulaney is one of those comedians who tells a good story, so I thought to track down some of his best highlights for a chuckle. Hereās a short 20 minutes featuring seven jokes to get to know his work.š
When Iām in need of comfort and rest, this is my ultimate go-to. Not only is it an absolute delight, with Peter Sellers and Shirley MacLaine at their most enchanting best, but itās a deeply spiritual story about surrender and trust.š
Itās my purpose and joy to help you align with your purpose and joy! If you have questions, recommendations, feel inspired to share, please reach out or leave a comment. If youāre ready to do the deep inner work and live your purpose, you can book me here. Wishing you all a beautiful, inspired week!
Love from my whole being,
L šā¤ļø
P.S. Zuri is having surgery to repair a torn ACL this morning. š¢ Please say a prayer for a successful outcome and a speedy recovery. šš»ā¤ļøāš©¹
Dear ones, I'm so incredibly grateful for this sweet community! I've already heard from so many of you with well wishes for my beautiful girl, thank you! ā¤ļø
The doctor called about an hour ago now (it's 2:30 EST) to tell me Zuri was out of surgery and everything had gone beautifully. He didn't find any other issues, so he was able to do the repair without incidence. She was coming out of anesthesia as the doctor gave me the update, so we're in the clear now. She will stay overnight, I'm told the overnight staff will call with an update and will also send pictures, and then I can pick her up tomorrow afternoon. She's in for a few weeks of serious pampering for being so brave. ā¤ļøāš©¹